Trump Urges RFK Jr. to Go Medieval on Health
Andy Borowitz Borowitz Report
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is President Trump's pick to lead the Department of Health and Human Services. He faced more tough questions in his second confirmation hearing, held Thursday before the Senate HELP Committee. (photo: Kevin Dietsch/Getty)
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"There were fantastic medical practices, like making blood come out of your whatever, that were used centuries ago before they were banned by DEI and the woke mob," Trump said. "Bobby's gonna bring all that back."
"Vaccines have only been around for 50 years or so," Trump said. "Leeches were squirming all over the Earth long before humans did. Bobby is going to be moving very powerfully on the leeches."
Trump reassured the nation that all of these medieval procedures, such as "drilling a hole in your head," were "perfectly safe,” adding, “I ran everything by Dr. Oz."
