"The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, 'The Borowitz Report'."

Negotiations over Ukraine appeared to stall on Friday after Russian President Vladimir Putin kept Donald Trump on hold for 45 minutes listening to balalaika music.

According to White House sources, Trump consumed 18 cans of Diet Coke during the lengthy musical interlude.

Although the Russian president never picked up his call, Trump took to Truth Social to declare it a “perfect phone call.”

“President Putin honored me by ordering his Russian banjo players to sarrinade (sic) me for ALMOST AN HOUR!” Trump wrote. “He never would have done that for Sleepy Joe!”