"The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, 'The Borowitz Report'."

In a stunning case of unintended consequences, the six conservative Supreme Court justices inadvertently ruled that their jobs no longer exist, legal experts revealed on Monday.

By virtually eliminating the role of the nation’s judicial branch last Friday, the Republican justices unwittingly downsized themselves, Constitutional scholars said.

“I’m sure they’re having second thoughts now that they’re unemployed, but it’s too late for them to reverse their ruling,” said Professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota Law School. “The Constitution explicitly says, ‘No backsies.’”

On Monday morning, a shell-shocked Brett Kavanaugh was seen clearing out his office, lugging an unwieldy beer keg down the Supreme Court’s fabled front steps.

Meanwhile, the sudden demise of the Court has alarmed ex-justices Thomas and Alito, who reportedly asked, “Will this affect our yacht cruises?”