The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

Pete Hegseth’s tenure as Secretary of Defense got off to a wobbly start on Monday after he was arrested on suspicion of DUI for crashing an M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank into the Pentagon.

The arresting officer, Harland Dorrinson, arrived at the Pentagon shortly after receiving reports of a large battle tank making figure 8s in the parking lot.

Finding the smoldering Abrams protruding from the side of the building, Dorrinson said that Hegseth was “extremely combative when I asked him to step out of the tank.”

Hegseth was later booked, released, and driven home by Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.