The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

Jeff Bezos has desperately tried to return the Washington Post for a full refund without success, sources close to the Amazon chief confirmed on Monday.

Bezos, who purchased the Post for $250 million in 2013, was reportedly kept on hold with customer service for 45 minutes before a human was finally available to speak to him.

Unfortunately for Bezos, the customer service rep informed him that he had failed to check the newspaper’s return policy when he purchased it.

According to the rep, Bezos cannot return the Post because he bought it more than a hundred days ago and it is now in damaged condition.