The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

Explaining his claim that a second debate with Kamala Harris would be “too late,” Donald J. Trump said on Thursday that he expects to be “way too senile” by the end of October.

“People are saying that they can’t understand a thing I’m saying, and, quite frankly, neither can I,” he said. “I’m like RFK Jr. on steroids.”

“I have the most amazing dementia in the history of dementia,” he boasted. “I’m winning at dementia.”

Trump predicted that, were he to participate in a late October debate, “That thing I said about ‘they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs’ will seem like the Gettysburg Address.”

“Besides, I don’t need to debate, because I already have the support of the Black Nazis,” he added. “I’ve done more for Black Nazis than any president in history.”