Fauci Defends Calling GOP Senator a Moron: 'I'm Just Following the Science'

Andy Borowitz / The New Yorker
Fauci Defends Calling GOP Senator a Moron: 'I'm Just Following the Science' After being heard on a hot mike calling a Republican senator a moron, Dr. Anthony Fauci defended his decision by saying that he was "just following the science." (photo: Greg Nash/Getty)

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

After being heard on a hot mike calling a Republican senator a moron, Dr. Anthony Fauci defended his decision by saying that he was “just following the science.”

The esteemed virologist said that, in calling Senator Roger Marshall, of Kansas, a moron, “I didn’t mean to offend. I was just trying to be accurate from a scientific standpoint.”

“As a scientist, I believe it’s important to use the correct nomenclature,” Fauci said. “You need to call a virus a virus, and a bacterium a bacterium. In this same way, I am confident that I was correct in calling Senator Marshall a moron.”

Fauci said that he does not use the word “moron” capriciously, but only after extensive scientific experimentation proves that it applies.

“Take Rand Paul, for example,” Fauci said. “I didn’t determine that he was a moron until after forty-five seconds of hearing him speak.”

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