The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

Taking advantage of the Tesla CEO’s special skillset, Donald J. Trump on Tuesday put Elon Musk in charge of absorbing all drugs coming into the US.

“Any drugs that come in will have to go through Elon,” Trump said. “I can’t wait for Elon to go wild on drugs.”

Musk will discharge his new duties as head of a rebooted DOGE (Drugged Oligarch Governing Erratically).