"The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, 'The Borowitz Report'."

Hoping to calm nerves after his government arrested reporters Don Lemon and Georgia Fort, on Friday Donald J. Trump reassured the staff at Fox News Channel that he does not consider them journalists.

“It’s true that I’m engaging in a systematic attack on the First Amendment rights of journalists,” he told the Fox employees. “But obviously none of that applies to you.”

Offering further comfort, Trump added, “I would never have hired Pete Hegseth if I thought he was a journalist.”

In a sentiment widely echoed by his colleagues, “Fox … Friends” co-host Steve Doocy responded, “Mr. President, we weren’t really worried.”

At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt revealed that Trump had sent a similar message of reassurance to CBS News chief Bari Weiss.