Justice Alito Is Not Holed Up in Some Bunker Eating Surplus MREs

Charles Pierce / Esquire
Justice Alito Is Not Holed Up in Some Bunker Eating Surplus MREs A protest outside of the Supreme Court building. (photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images)

He could be at a hotel. Or the whole "undisclosed location" business could be a product of the right-wing puke funnel.

See, this is how it works, OK? At five o’clock Sunday evening, a certain Kristan Hawkins, president of Students4Life, tweeted out the following scooplet:

Justice Alito and his family have been moved to an undisclosed location. Let us pray for he and his family’s safety.

This was a tasty morsel, especially served up on the night when the neighbors dropped by Brett Kavanaugh’s place—and the Roberts manse—to explain their disappointment. A sweet buffet of leftist extremism served up to the gullible dinner crowd, which included famous legal apologist Jonathan Turley and something called LifeNews, which has little to do with either one. Eventually, all god’s children got on board. (Hi, Ted Cruz. Can I sell you these magic beans?) This lasted until Monday, when the statue came down. From Politico:

The reports seem to be fueled by comments from conservative lawyer and author Ilya Shapiro, who said on a Saturday Fox News program that he “heard that Justice Alito has been taken to an undisclosed location with his family.” Shapiro told POLITICO Monday that he was unsure whether that was, in fact, true. “I don’t have any non-public sources,” he said. “I forget whether I saw the rumor on Twitter or somebody told me. I don’t know.”

Couldn’t find a good psychic on a weekend, I guess.

Now, it’s entirely possible that the Clan Alito is hunkered down somewhere, but it’s not as though they’re eating surplus MREs in an abandoned missile silo in South Dakota. My money is on a lovely resort hotel.

Or the whole story is made-up sludge arriving via a fully armed and operational puke funnel. And Kristan, barbecuing the Ninth Commandment? And on the Lord’s Day, too? You got some confessin’ to do. Also, “Students4Life.” Dropping that numeral in the middle there doesn’t make you Prince. Never will.

A NOTE OF CAUTION: Our commenting forum is open to all and we hope it gives you an opportunity to express yourself. Be aware that we do not do background checks on our commenters. The comments appearing here could be posted by anyone, anywhere, with any agenda or motivation. We are aware that some posters seek to be influencers. We are also aware that some information posted in our comments sections is clearly false. Be aware and be cautious when considering random public statements. — The RSN Team.
Close

rsn / send to friend

form code